Help for Jealousy
Jealousy is usually a combination of fear and anger many times driven by insecurity and low self esteem, Birmingham NLP trainer and hypnotherapist Debbie Williams has a self help hypnosis recording ‘Freedom from Jealousy’ which you may find this is more than enough to overcome your jealousy.
Jealousy destroys relationships
Jealousy can singlehandedly destroy any relationship but you can have freedom from jealousy and a life where healthy relationships can grow deeper and stronger.
Debbie works both consciously to help you out of the loops of automated behaviour and jealous feelings to teach you how to think and respond appropriately, and unconsciously to re-pattern the behaviour at a deeper level.
You can book a one to one with Debbie Williams here
People see Debbie sometimes as the last resort, desperately seeking a solution as a break up is on the cards;
Get some help or its over, their partner says, or many times its too late for that relationship or they are in a new one and are very fearful that they might ruin it just like the previous ones with their insecurities.
I guarantee you if you make a decision to focus on creating a healthy happy relationship as your goal it will happen, maybe with this partner, or maybe with someone that suits you even better.
Strong emotions associated with jealousy
Jealousy can trigger angry feelings, venomous, revengeful thoughts that are unpleasant for all, especially if you are playing a movie in mind of your partner up to no good, which then turns on the fight or flight response creating massive physiological changes.
Adrenalin is secreted, the heart starts pumping more, blood pressure rises, the sympathetic nervous system diverts the blood from the liver, the intestine and the stomach, and pumps it to the heart and the muscles. You now only see things in black or white, right or wrong, no other way.
Jealousy and fight or flight
The body is preparing for action, it’s preparing to fight to defend itself and in this state it’s not uncommon to feel sick to the stomach creating problems with digestion.
Which only serves to fire them up even more, its time to change now and to only see what you really want, you with a partner with a smile on your face that tells you you have found the answers in mind and are truly happy because
Discovering NLP is like finding the owner’s manual for your brain for it gives you the ability to retrain your thinking and evolve and dissolve powerful negative emotions.
Jealousy I can’t help it…
When we react to jealousy it feels automated, out of our hands so to speak. I believe the reason the weight of the emotion is so great is our brain is a pattern matching machine, for example perhaps first time as a young child we were rejected (or felt we were).
We didn’t have words to express how we felt, imagine a parent says to a child you’re so naughty/bad, if you don’t stop we’re going to put you into a home with all of the other naughty girls and boys and you won’t like it.
The child becomes very quiet the parent sees oh that worked in stopping bad behaviour and perhaps does it again because children don’t come with owners manuals and your parents were learning too but as a child you don’t really understand and pictures form of you having to leave mom and dad which are frightening to you and as they are all you’ve ever known imagining that must feel awful.
Growing up feeling insecure
Of course the child grows up and doesn’t even think about it, has many positive experiences that counteracts that, so feels secure in himself but for a few they may have relationships, the first ones might even be ok.
But then someone inadvertently does something that fires off a similar pattern or even a facial expression that matches the look of the parent triggering the old emotion as it believes it’s similar.
As an adult you fill the gaps of what this feeling might mean with images of your partner leaving you or sleeping with someone else, perhaps laughing at your expense ultimately fires off anger, injustice, fear, dread and more.
All of this can happen in a heartbeat but as it feels powerful we think it important, so respond with jealousy as at some level we believe we are being violated or disrespected.
Jealousy is a one dimensional trance state, you’ve bought into your own internal reality which at that moment seems so real, it’s only when you’ve calmed down you realise how you’ve perhaps behaved then put a reality check in.
Birmingham NLP Trainer can help
We want to give you the flexibility to have choice in your behaviour and to know how to communicate your needs in a better way.
One of the best questions that we can train our brain to look for solutions, is what do I need to learn to move on?
On track 2 of the freedom from jealousy programme you get to learn from others who are self assured and confident in relationships.
So you can experience a more mature way to respond to those old jealous feelings which we will shrink down to reassure you to help you believe you are loveable and deserve to be loved.
Jealousy replaced with better feelings and resources
So what we want to do here is rewire that automated pattern out and replace it with more resourceful ways so it’s time to pause and revaluate the situation so that you’ve got a memory of it but it’s very difficult to play again.
And how we’ll do that is by teaching you how you could have handled it in a better way and just like an athlete, practise success in mind over and over to give you the tools that you need and in trance we’ll practise any new behaviours/attitudes in mind to give you freedom from jealously.
One to one help for jealousy
When most clients come to us it usually takes one to three sessions and you can book your NLP and hypnosis session here.
For many this self help freedom from jealousy will help tremendously and will be more than enough for others a one to one with a competent therapist will clear up anything that hasn’t responded completely to these techniques especially if there is a history behind the jealousy i.e. abuse that needs further work.